Crazy for Leola Root Stew
by Arcadia-of-the-East
Summary: the title says it all. based on a challange by Vell


Crazy for Leola Root Stew  


  
look! I'm the insane author..............  
  
"Hold me."  
Tom looked atthe beautiful, but obviously drunk, woman in front of him. She  
was an Arthian. Big surprise, Tom thought, we're on Arthia. Arthians were pretty  
enough. They were almost completely bald, but had hair gorwning between two  
spiked ridges of bone on the top of their heads. The females, including this one,  
had long hair that they hung over their shoulders.  
"No thanks," Tom said to the Arthian woman. She walked away up to another  
guy with the same rutene, but this time with a difefrent effect.   
"W-You're drunk!" Tom and Harry heard a guy at the bar say as they sat dow.  
"D-I am not!" insisted they man's freind.  
"W-Yes, you are!" They were obviously both drunk.  
"Can I have two of water ever they had," Tom asked the bar tender, who  
nodded. He wanted to be good a drunk, too.  
"Damn, Harry, it feels so good to be out here, you know. Just guys," Tom  
muttered. "Married life is killing me."  
"It can't be that bad," Harry muttered.  
"Are you married?" Tom asked.  
"No," Harr responded awkwardly.  
"Then you have no idea how hard it can be." The bar temder put the drinks  
down. Tom took a large gulp. "Uck!" he spat. "The is worse then the Leola root  
stew Nelis served at lunch."  
"Nothing can be worse then Nelix'x Leola root strew," Harry proclaimed. He  
took a sip. Harry coughed. "I take it back," he said. "Man, that stuff tastes like  
dirty socks."  
"You've eaten dirty socks?" Tom asked. Harry rolled his eyes while scanning  
the drink with a triquarter. "I was just checking. What's in that stuff?."   
"You don't want to know," Harry said. He put away his triquarter and the two  
boys left the bar.  
  
mean while, other people were having a better time.........  
  
"Your eyes are so beautiful....." Naomi watched as her mother giggled.   
"Why is my dad trying to make your mom laugh?" said a little Arthian boy  
named Rhys.  
"I don't know," Naomi said. "Maybe their friends."  
"The last time my daddy made a friend laugh like that I found them kissing!"  
Rhys proclaimed.  
"Uck!" Naomi shouted. "We can't that happen. What do we do?....."  
  
oops! Wrong scene. ::clears throat:: Mean while, other people were having a  
better time.......  
  
Chakotay tossed and turned in bed. Because the captain refused to give him  
anything (damn you, Janeway!) he was forced to dream about it instead. Oh, what  
a wonderful dream......  
They were all in lines smiling at him. First he kissed Seven, then B'Elanna,  
then a cute, young ensign named Simone. Then he went to kiss Janeway. She was  
smiling, warring oven mitts and holding a pot of Nelix's Leola rout stew.....  
Chakoty woke up. How horrible! He hated Nelix's Leola Rout stew. Oh, well.  
He rolled over and started to dream again.  
  
  
Mean while, Janeway, who refused to give Chakotay anything, was.......  
  
Tuvok came to his captain's quarters when he heard the strange music and  
mutters of The Borg Queen. The door chimed. "Come in."  
"Captain may I inquire what it is you are doing?" Tuvok asked calmly. Kathryn  
was sitting in a big, black leather chair that hid her from view.  
"Well, Tuvok, I've been think. We're far, far away from the Federation, so why pretend that we're still there?" Kathryn turned the chair around (three times, because the liked the way in could spin. Wee!) and revealed herself. She was dressed in a black cat suit with a black cape and had a black helmet on that covered her head. On her lap sat a Barbi, a Luke Skywalker toy, and a Borg  
Queen action figure. "We're going imperial now. I am no longer Kathryn Janeway. I am Darth Katrine!  
"Hit it, Kate!" A tall, fourteen year old girl with curly brown hair, brown eyes and glasses who is warring a blue Lake Park Lancer Marching Band T-shirt picks  
up a tenor saxophone and starts playing the Darth Vader theme song.  
"Tuvok, this is Kate Marie. She's the first of my minions!" Kathryn stated as she laughed historically. Tuvok looked at her blankly.  
"Don't you get it?" Kathryn Janeway asked. "There are enough people on in this universe named Kathryn, Katherine, Catherine, Cathyrn, Katie, Katy, Kate, Kat,  
Katrina or like-wise to fill up the black hole. We've decided to join forced together and take over the galaxy!" Tuvok raised an eyebrow and left the room.  
  
Hmm.....interesting........  
  
Tom couldn't find Harry anywhere. He looked and looked and looked. He tried using in triquarter, but that didn't help. He decided to look the jeffries tube. As he  
crawled he noticed something, he was stuck. The Jeffries tubes really were too small. No one large then Naomi Wildman could fit.  
  
As for Naomi......  
  
"Will you marry me?" Rhys asked.   
"Okey," she said. "But only for as little while. My mommy is fighting with your  
dad." Naomi and Rhys started kissing and Naomi knew something important had  
happened. she had found her one true talent. Kissing boys.  
  
Back to Tom......  
  
Tom had somehow managed to get out of the Jefferies tube, but had broken his  
triquarter. With his new shiny, medical triquarter he annylised it, trying to figure  
out what was wrong. His medical tri quarter, however, was broken, too, because  
it kept on saying that his triquarter didn't have a pulse. After a while he gave up  
and fixed it with duck tape.  
  
And.........  
  
Nelix, being totally out of the loop, went looking for Naomi, not knowing she  
was married to Rhys. He looked and the jefferies tube, and got stuck. He tried  
screaming for someone to help, but no one did. They all wanted the ratings to go  
up.  
The only people who could save him know were the doctor and Seven of Nine,  
but they were making out in the corridor just outside, and didn't notice Nelix.  
  
Meanwhile......  
  
Kathryn was running around the ship like a mad woman (which she was) while  
Kate marched behind her (what do you expect, I'm....I mean Kate, is a marching  
band member?) when she spotted Tom Paris. She promptly kissed him and ran  
way.  
Tom was bewildered, but didn't care much. He was worried because he had  
killed his medical triquarter. It wasn't his fault that he got annoyed and threw it  
against the wall. It was B'Elanna, and her bad influence.  
  
And B'Elanna..........  
  
B'Elanna was kissing Harry, when Tom walked in. "I'm sorry," B'Elanna said.  
"I just wanted to give you a good kiss on our anniversary and I was using Harry to  
practice on!"  
Paris throw both his triquarter and his medical triquarter against the wall.  
B'Elanna took her tri-quarter and crushed it in her hand. Harry, feeling left out,  
took his triquarter and through it Tom.  
That was it. Tom picked up a garbage bag filled with raspberry muffins  
(B'Elanna's failed cooking experiment) and threw one at Harry. Harry picked up  
a garbage bag filled with raisin bred (Another on of B'Elanna's experiments) and  
threw it at Harry. They ran around throwing breakfast food and hitting everyone  
but eachother. Soon there was a ship wide food fight.  
The doctor and Seven of Nine were still in sick bay, kissing. They were immune to  
all this. The doctor was halo-gram and Seven never touched Nelix's food. Especially not  
the Leola Root Stew, which had been served at lunch that day and make  
everybody........CRAZY!  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Vell's challange:  
Write a story where the first line is "Hold me."   
Here's a challenge- write a story including these things:   
1--2--3--4--5 mentionings of Neelix's leola root stew,   
1--2--3--4--5--6 uses or references to a tricorder,   
1--2--3--4 uses or references to a medical tricorder,   
1 mention of the BORG Queen,   
1--2 instances of someone being stuck in a jeffries tube.   
at least 1 Kiss between B'Elanna and Harry,   
at least 1 Kiss between Kathryn and Tom,   
at least 1 Kiss between Chakotay and Seven   
1--2at least 2 Kisses between the Doctor and Seven   
One instance of a marriage purposal (other than D/7),   
And use this line in it. It is from ST:1st CONTACT but use can have anyone   
say it that you want to: "W-You're drunk! D-I am not! W-Yes, you are".   
and last but not least, one ship-wide food fight.   
Have fun!   
  
find it at..........  
[Someone to Watch Over Me][1]   
http://www.geocities.com/docseven2000/ 

   [1]: http://www.geocities.com/docseven2000/



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